28

This year so far has been an interesting one. In many ways it has been one of the best years yet. The end of my 27th year was less than stellar and it left me needing more. Just before I turned 28, I realized this and sought to get the emotional help I needed. I saw a therapist until February this year. It really helped me to have a non-basised forum where there was no judgment. I could reflect on things that bothered me and figure out how to move on or change my perspective (usually both) to get to a better place. It helped me immensely and I miss going at times. I know I can call her up and have another session so that's always nice to know.

The reason I mention it is that my reflections in my sessions is helping me shape up to be the Shanel I have always meant to be, but someone I was trying to be. This road will last my whole life but I am glad to have some clarity to see how to navigate it more truly now. Because of this, this year of being 28 has been pretty darn great. During this year I have accomplished some great things: I took my first "girls trip" with my mom, I've made at least 90% of the gifts I've given this year, I've learned to knit, embroider gingham, I tried painting for the first time and two months later painted my first mural, I have my first solid idea for a writing piece and I am actively pursuing it, and I still have three months to go. During that time I hope to keep pushing my boundaries. I am trying Spin for the first time, I am going to continue to sew, craft and try new recipes, and write. I am going on vacation in October so I hope to do some new things then too. Then I am going to round it out with what started me down this path of self empowerment, I am getting my first tattoo.

I have thought about a tattoo since I was in high school. I usually dismissed it knowing my dad would practically disown me if I got one, or at least that was the sentiment around the house. There is something alluring to it, something romantic, something artistic, something so innately expressive, it felt like something I would connect with. As my "About Me" section says, I love all things art. This includes body art. While not all body art is appealing to all, I find some of the pieces I've seen to be truly beautiful. Last Fall, I felt so empowered to embrace the me I wanted to be. At the same time, the tattoo idea I've always had but never could figure out how to do it or wear to put it suddenly became crystal clear. It was almost fated for that moment of moving toward myself would also bring me to something I've thought so much about but shied away from because of others. I knew now that I had a clear idea and I was ready to commit to me, I would not let anyone tell me I couldn't get it. But in the interests of being personally responsible, I gave myself a year to contemplate the idea to make sure I was indeed happy with it. I've worked through the reasons why I am doing it, why I've chosen what I've chosen, why I am placing it where I am, and I have been pretty much positive I am going through with it since month 2. I am proud of myself for keeping my timeframe and the promise I made for myself. It was a personal choice to wait that long. I didn't do it for anyone else. I believe there will/are fringe benefits to waiting: proving to my parents I have thought it through even if they disapprove, giving my future children an example to live by if they are thinking about one to weigh their options seriously, etc. I have full respect for others that have not put that thought into it because it is an individual choice and is made all sorts of ways. I am just proud of myself for being true to myself and what I see for my future.

I believe 29 will be tough but great. I am so proud of my husband who will be graduating in September. It will open a whole new chapter of "us." With him being in school for the length of our relationship, it is going to shake things up a lot. We are both ready to move on, though we are a bit anxious. I know school has been a strain on our relationship and we don't always see eye to eye but I am thankful for it because I've had the chance to grow and learn about myself during those windows of time Jeremy has been working away. I know this has been hard to because I have always been independent and school has only added to this pile. The next chapter will have to be one about relying on each other more and stitching together a life that is slightly split at the moment. It won't be easy but I look forward to encouraging Jeremy the same way he encourages me to try new things, to jump to that next boulder.

If things were always easy, we can't look back and appreciate what beauty came out of it. So thanks 27. Though I don't want to revisit you, you helped shape 28 into being great so far.